Helping Your Tween Navigate Friendships, Drama & Teasing
- Tiana Baumsteiger
- Sep 9
- 2 min read
Friendships in the tween years can feel like a rollercoaster—for both girls and their parents. One day your daughter is inseparable from her best friend, and the next day she’s in tears over drama or teasing at school. These years are when social dynamics become more complicated, and girls are learning how to balance belonging with being true to themselves.
The good news? With your guidance, your daughter can learn to handle these challenges with resilience, kindness, and confidence.
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Understanding Tween Friendships
Shifting Alliances: It’s normal for friendships to come and go in middle childhood. What matters most is helping your daughter understand that this is part of growing up, not a reflection of her worth.
The Rise of "Drama": Drama often shows up as gossip, exclusion, or competitiveness. It’s usually a way for kids to test boundaries and figure out how relationships work.
Teasing vs. Bullying: Teasing can sometimes be playful, but it crosses a line when it’s repetitive, cruel, or humiliating. Helping your daughter recognize the difference is key.
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A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your Tween
1. Listen First, Fix Later
Create space for your daughter to share her feelings without judgment or immediate solutions. Ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?”
2. Validate Her Feelings
Let her know it’s okay to feel hurt, confused, or angry. Say things like, “That sounds really tough. I can see why you’d feel upset.”
3. Teach Healthy Boundaries
Role-play how to say “no,” walk away, or change the subject when drama starts. Boundaries build self-respect and reduce the pull of negativity.
4. Encourage Positive Friendships
Support her in spending time with friends who lift her up, not tear her down. Quality is more important than quantity.
5. Model Healthy Relationships
Show her what supportive friendships look like in your own life. Girls learn most by watching.
6. Problem-Solve Together
Instead of giving answers, brainstorm options with her. This builds confidence and teaches her to trust her instincts.
7. Stay Connected with School
Keep communication open with teachers and counselors if teasing or drama escalates into bullying.
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Tools & Resources
Books for Girls & Parents:
The Confidence Code for Girls by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman
Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman (great for parents)
Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons
Websites & Guides:
Love Is Rad Programs:
Rad Girls Rising Camps & Circles – safe spaces for girls to learn kindness, confidence, and self-love.
1:1 Coaching – personal support to help your daughter navigate friendships and school life.
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Final Encouragement
Remind your daughter that friendships will ebb and flow, but her value never changes. By helping her find her voice, set boundaries, and choose friends wisely, you’re giving her tools that will serve her for a lifetime.
Because at the end of the day—kindness, self-respect, and love are always rad.
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